Transitions

The last several days I have found Violet to be notably more difficult to handle. As she makes quick tracks closer to 2 years old ( say what?), I know her determination to gain more independence and leave no stone unturned will be a new button hole in life for me to figure out. And it might have just put me through the wringer if not for a moment we had earlier today.

 

 She's examining how far she can go with disobedience and it's arduous as a mother to find the cusp of balance between remaining true to type with the p's and q's we've set and allowing her to discover effects such as gravity and/or depth perception-along with also preserving her safety and avoiding serious injury. I try to remember she's learning to know her boundaries within and outside our home, but I find myself (more often then I like) muttering things under my breath about keeping MYSELF calm in the face of this new energetic, growing, and curious little girl. There was a second today where I was stamping out a corny message on a cookie bag I was planning on taking into Cristian at work. I admit I was more then just a little irritated when Violet climbed up into my seat while I poured a glass of water out in the kitchen and smeared black ink all over her fingers, face, and clothes. I was exchanging some stern words with her when I realized how out of line I was with MY OWN behavior. She doesn't understand, but she wants to. She see's mommy doing something puzzling, and yearns to be involved. I shouldn't get upset, and instead nuzzle into the bonding and experience it could create between her and I-while also having fun. Who cares if she covers her entire body in ink? She can have a bath-another affair she thoroughly enjoys. So what if she ruins an outfit? It's just clothes. I needed to relax. I corrected my behavior and we both had a brilliant time inking up that brown paper bag to take to our man. She smiled and giggled because it was something new, interactive, and something she could do with mommy. Even the bag with my love note was more special because I'd allowed my inquisitive daughter to participate and be creative.

 

Earlier in the week, we three went on a drive out of the valley. It was a cold dreary day and I was feeling unsure about how I was doing as a mother. It's something I constantly think about, and constantly try to tweak and improve. I ponder about what I can do differently to mold Violet into the person I'd hope she would be. I struggle a lot to know how to best teach her things, and how to best help her understand what she doesn't. I try to plan our days in such a way that she is happy, safe, learning, and healthy..... and it gets to be overwhelming. I was so grateful when out of nowhere Cristian reached over, gently took my hand, and told me exactly what I needed to hear. That he felt so good, happy and proud of how I was teaching and caring for Violet. He'll never know how much I needed to hear that, or what comfort washed over me and soothed my worries for the moment. I'm so blessed to have him as my one and only and to be able to be a stay-at-home mom because of his efforts.

 

 

This week promises to be exciting. We (Violet and I) begin volunteering for Four Paws tomorrow and are excited to feed the kittens and clean cages at PetsMart. Baby animal days is also on the schedule, and I've penciled in a few swim lessons as well. We plan on welcoming spring with some gardening and a few art projects and I can't wait to tackle all of that with my girl. Meanwhile Cristian and I have been talking about taking a big step and building a home. We stay up late and talk about how dream home, and I am LOVING this place in life.

More on Australia in my next post. Cheers!