This past week we re-started Insanity. My little impromptu trip to Las Vegas with my cousin kind of screwed with the diet portion of the program, though I kept up really well as far the exercise because of all the hiking. This week went well. Really pushed myself through the harder parts of the workouts and felt satisfied by the end of the week with the work I'd put in. The diet part of the program is proving to be a little difficult for me this time. I never talk about this, but it's never been a problem the way it is now. I really need to lose the baby weight I put on and it's been a constant struggle since 6 weeks after delivering Violet.
It's all about counting calories, which I am usually very good at but for some reason I just DO NOT want to do that this time. I feel like a slave to my purple notebook and the scale to measure out every last portion and I just want to bag that whole part of the deal all together. It's stressful, and annoying. It definitely keeps me on track but I have such a love/hate relationship with food these days the idea of focusing even more time thinking about (calorie counting) honestly makes me sick.
And it's been physically making me ill this week, my relationship with it. I love it. I hate it. I eat it. I force myself NOT to eat it. I do well one day, and the next day I either drink tea all day, or one time of specific food, or load up on carbs. I can't really seem to find a balance and I feel my stomach (because of mind) has suffered. I woke up this morning intent on doing a work out but I feel weak and like I need to take a serious day of recovery to just...mellow out.
This love hate thing is really consuming, and I guess that means I'll keep looking for a way that personally helps my relationship with food not be so intense. As for today though, I'm going to take it easy.
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