The Bug

Well, there's a bug going around. I could hear our downstairs neighbors hurling late into the night. And then sometime around 3am Violet woke up coughing and crying. I woke up to go get her, without putting on my glasses because I figured it was just a little nightmare, or perhaps she bumped her head on the side of her crib when she rolled over, or...MAYBE, she woke up because of our neighbors violent vomiting, and the constant flushing of the toilet and running of the sink. Either way I wasn't expecting anything big. Mistake.

I walked into her dark room and reached down into the crib for my baby girl and put my hand right into warm slimy throw up slowly seeping its way down her onsie. Horrified because I still didn't really know what was going on (being half asleep and such) I flipped the switch and shed light onto what honestly looked like a horror scene.

Vomit. Everywhere.
I mean seriously everywhere.
Was she jumping up and down in her crib just spewing throw up everywhere? Because there just wasn't any other explanation. I went to go put my glasses on, which just made the scene worse, and summoned my poor sleeping husband who had work in just 3 1/2 hours to help me because... there was so much.

Poor Violet.
Vomit all over her blankets and crib. In her hair. Down her onsie. All over her hands. Her face. In her ears. All over her favorite toy she sleeps with. In her socks. On the walls. On the carpet.

I ended up just putting her (and myself afterwards) in the bath with her onsie on and just rinsing her off with warm water before stripping her down and getting to the slime in between her toes, in her belly button and clinging to her hair. She was such a champ through all of it. I cleaned the bath out and refilled it with clean warm water and vanilla scented bubbles while Cristian stripped down her bed, disinfected the crib, cleaned the walls and carpet and her baby doll and selected some clean pj's and panties for her. She just sat in the warm water playing with bubbles for a while, my sweetheart made his way back to bed, and eventually I turned up the heat and got her out of the tub and into clean clothes.

We ended up just staying up, cuddling on the twin bed which fills the other side of her room, reading "Marvin The Ape", and listening to some primary songs on YouTube. The vomiting wasn't over but luckily every time it happened she made it to the bucket I had placed beside the bed. At about 9am she seemed to be back to normal and by noon was out cold for several hours.

Maybe some are wondering why I would post such a gross experience, and I guess it's because I want to document the hard times along with all the good. It isn't always sunshine and daisies over here but this experience really made me think about how much being a mother has made me grow in funny little ways.
2 years ago you wouldn't be able to find me within a mile radius of vomit. And if I was, by some strange reason, I would end up throwing up just by being near it.

It also made me think back to when my family and I lived in a house which must have been built in the 70's because of the shag carpet. I can remember my sweet daddy down on his knees with a plate and knife LITERALLY scraping vomit from deep in between the long carpet strands. Sorry dad!! I smiled because THANK GOODNESS we do NOT have shag carpet.

Oh memories!

Snippets// What Fall Looks Like Part 2

 

 

A fall inspired cake for my mom's birthday! Most wonderful mother in the world award goes straight to her! It was also my first time really experimenting with fondant and doing something other then roses, so much fun!

Cristian and Violet picking out some pumpkins to turn into jack o' lanterns!

Showing Violet the ropes :D

The finished product. Violet was VERY excited about the pumpkins and candles which went inside!



I'm sure everyone on the planet has roasted pumpkins seeds before, but this was my first time! A little grapeseed oil, salt, and baked at 350 F for a half hour. 

One more with the pumpkins ya know, for good measure.

"Spooooooky Halloween" if you ask Violet.

Getting the most out of these more and more scarce sunny days at the park.

So many naps and fall themed blankets! And many baked goods being made in our cozy little kitchen



2 Going On 20

Violet has a fake toy phone, it flips through different animal noises and pictures each time you open it up. She's been toting this around in one hand, while carrying a few pieces of coloring paper in the other. She brings her things up onto my bed and then proceeds to tell me that she is "making some payments mom!". She's been doing lots of little things like this which crack me up, and  have given me some insight into our daily life through her eyes.

Between "making payments", "doing her "workouts" (which consist of jumping up and down and a variety of different baby yoga poses), and "going on errands to the store" (picking up her toys into a little purse her aunt made her", you'd think the girl was 20, not 2 years old.

The last few days she's been so cuddly and kissy face with me and I just want to stop time and suspend those moments because soon she will not want to kiss this mama's face, and I'll probably cry the day it happens. For now, I am basking in it. BASKING.

Bonfire

Last night was wonderful. Me not feeling up to cooking has never been such a good time. We picked up some hotdogs and a bar of chocolate from the store and started a fire in the backyard. We sat outside under the stars for 2 1/2 hours listening to a mix of Red Hot Chili Peppers and Rocky Votolato while roasting hot dogs and making smores. The crickets chirped and sparks popped and scattered around our camp chairs and I felt that yummy peaceful feeling which comes from spending time outdoors with your family. As the sun went down we all snuggled a little closer and tucked into the smoke swirling around us.

I'm not sure what about this moment made such an impression on me. But I absolutely loved it.

Snippets// Keeping Busy

Many monumental things have occured the last few weeks. General Conference (which I will post about later), planning next years holiday to Lake Louise in Canada, and hosting our first fall BBQ. There have been smaller things too (or bigger, depending on how you look at it), like Cristian allowing me to pick out his haircut and him actually LOVING IT. I sat for a half hour with Violet playing with this bird toy riddled with anxiety because...what if he hated the style I chose for him, or what if the hair dresser messed it up? It worked out though, and he is rocking his new trendy look (maybe I'll post a photo of it later). Speaking of hair, check out hers! So gorgeous!

More on hair, but not in happy way. We bought this spin toy for Violet and the next thing I know it's tangled in those gorgeous silky locks with Violet screaming and crying in fright and pain. Clearly, I did NOT think this purchase through. I ended up having to cut the toy out, as there was no coming back from that. Luckily it was underneath so you can't see any damage, but I have certainly learned my lesson. No more spin toys in this household! 

Homecoming Parade! We strolled down to meet my family on the corner and had a good time showing Violet the ropes on nabbing candy being tossed from the floats as they went by. Such a fun time, and it seemed like the highlight was when everyone was handed a pocket Constitution. My family is weird and wonderful and I love them all so much. And despite what it looks like Violet had a blast!



I need to pick up a couple of books about the moon, Violet is really into them these days. Day moon on our way down to the parade.

We hosted our first fall BBQ. I've been needing something to keep my busy and this was the perfect thing to focus on. We cleaned the yard, scrubbed down the grill, bustled around scrounging up camp chairs, and prepping the menu. I made a huge batch of taco soup, Cristian manned the grill making carne asada and hamburgers, we drank pumpkin spice sparkling cider, and I tried out a pumpkin spice donut recipe which turned out fabulously. I ditched out to go do some visiting teaching for a few minutes and when I came back they had a fire started in the pit and were roasting marshmallows and making smores. All in all we had about 15 people there and had a wonderful time just hanging out and enjoying the crisp autumn weather. We are planning on doing something similar again, it was so much fun for both Cristian and I.

Another afternoon spent up at Tony's Grove. We took a $5 pizza up and had a picnic by the lake. We saw a multitude of chipmunks which Violet tried to capture, and enjoyed the peace and quiet. 

My little red riding hood checking out the forest and loving the small amounts of snow scattered too and fro across the forest floor.



She could sit and just throw rocks into the water for hours. Actually, she did.

There was snow, so inevitably we had a mini snowball fight. Cristian won, whatever ;)

Little red and the big bad wolf? She wants to do everything daddy does, little copy cat!

Autumn.

Goofing off.

As much as she tries to copy her daddy, she also does this with me. If mommy is wearing an apron, she needs to wear HER apron. If mommy is singing, she's doing her best to sing along, if mommy is painting her nails you can bet Violet is sitting by closely and patiently waiting for her nails to be painted. I love it.

One more from the lake, just eating some pizza with her dad. 

I never realized how many Hispanic restaurants were in town until I started dating Cristian. We went to ANOTHER one the other day and he LOVED the menudo soup he ordered, I loved the tacos, and Violet enjoyed a quesadilla the size of her entire body.

So many good things are happening right now, and I've been feeling refreshed and recharged from Conference. I will post more on this later but so many of the talks inspired me to move forward and do better in so many areas in my life, and that's one thing I love about the gospel, there's always room for improvement and you can always do more and do better.

 

With Halloween approaching we're looking forward to carving pumpkins, walking through a corn maze, watching Hocus Pocus, and enjoying a stew or two. Love to you and yours!

Real Talk// Balance

Violet getting upset because her blanket wouldn't cover her toes.
Also upset and confused because she wants the windows to be down in the car when we drive, but does not want the wind blowing in her face.

I mean...things like this are a daily struggle these days. She makes up for it though by being extra kissy and cuddly. I actually lost count of how many times she grabbed my face, planted a sweet kiss on my face and wrapped her sweet little arms around my neck while saying "I  wuv you so much mama!".

It kills me.
She drives me nuts but I can't help but love the little twerp,

The extra irritation I have been feeling may also have something to do with the fact that I recently cut all sugar out of my diet. It took 5 days of excruciating headaches for my body to adjust, and that tells me I was consuming WAY more sugar then was healthy. I dunno. I've been struggling a lot with my weight.

I broke down the other day to Cristian and expressed how frustrated I was. Obviously when I was single and not a mother I had copious amounts of time to take care of myself-and I did. I was fit, I could run for miles and leg press more then 3 of myself. I biked anywhere I needed to go and was very careful with what I ate. I made sure I was dressed well, and put together with my hair done and whatever minimal make up I decided to wear.

Now, I don't have 3 hours a day to go and get a good workout in, and some days I don't even make it into the shower. It's not always easy to pay careful attention to my diet when there are so many things going on all the time. I freak out. I either obsess about it to a point of making myself sick, or totally drop everything and get lazy, and depressed because I can't bring myself to do anything. It's been crippling. I would try and go to the gym or on a run after we had dinner at night, or before but I feel guilty leaving Cristian at home with Violet after he's been at his job working hard all day long. I used to do workouts at home but in the middle of a workout, Violet telling me she has to go potty nearly puts me over the edge in anger because I'M JUST TRYING TO RELIEVE SOME STRESS. It doesn't help. It makes me more stressed out trying to do my thing in our living room. I can't do it.

I told Cristian this through a waterfall of tears because I want to have energy, feel comfortable in my own skin, and create an excellent lifestyle for the 3 of us. He said something that stopped me in my tracks...

"Chelsea, you're living your life like you are a single mom, and that's offensive to me. You are not single. We are married. I am your husband and partner. For life. And you are supposed to let me to help you. Let me help you."

After thinking and crying about it for a few more moments cuddled up in his arms I realized he was right. I can't accomplish any of those goals (having more energy, feeling comfortable in my own skin, or creating a healthy life for us) if I don't take some time to care for myself. Because I'm not. I've never felt more out of shape and down about how I feel physically in my life. I hate feeling tired ALL DAY LONG. I hate feeling sick because of the food I put into my body. And I hate how it affects my relationship with my daughter and husband. They aren't getting the best of me because I'm not giving myself a break to change all the things that are bringing me down physically.

I've let the guilt of not being with Violet EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF EVERY DAY cause me to lose all the outlets I used to have to handle the stresses of daily life. Outlets like biking, and running, and lifting, and trying new healthy recipes. Not to mention spending time outside my primary roles of wife and mama, like with friends. Friends. When was the last time I spent good quality time with friend. I don't even know, and it's not okay anymore.

So today we went about signing me up for a gym membership. I know things aren't going to change right away, and gradually I am going to have to find a groove that works for me, and for Violet, and for Cristian but it's a start.
I just need to remember as Cristian said "that a good healthy routine might not evolve overnight, but we'll work on it together".

Ugh. I'm so happy this guy is my guy ya know? I'm so grateful for his love and support, and confidence in me as a woman, his wife, and as the mama of our daughter. I would be lost without him. He always knows exactly what to say when I'm down on myself and discouraged about my progress just as a person. So blessed he is mine.

So here's to taking things day by day and coming out of this trial on top and more confident then I've been in years.

A Photo Update

There are certain characteristics I just LOVE about this valley. The mountains and country side are incredible here. And check out that rainbow, Violet was ecstatic upon seeing it. We were driving along the Milky Way back home from an afternoon out at Ma and Pa's when we pulled over and hopped out right there to just enjoy the gorgeous view.

A fall inspired garland in the works. 

Growing up, and growing brave. Slow down darling!!

Practicing those fine motor skills by walking round and round the playground while balancing on the curb. Good fun.



These two sweethearts snuggled up in bed watching an episode of "Banana's In Pajamas".

Playground Hangs

Frisbee golf with Daddy

"Just Because" flowers from Cristian. He's the best!

Feeding chickens at Freckle Farm. Violet wasn't so sure about them the first time (hence the expression), but since then she's really gotten into it.

Turks Turban Gourds. Things babies are awesome!

Picking out some pumpkins

Growing brave with the chooks!