Cut Grass

Well, we finally mowed our lawn. It was starting to turn into such an eye sore there for awhile, It's ridiculous to me to think this merits some kind of notice. Oh the silliness of being a stay at home mom, and wife right? Really. Cut grass? Could I be any more lame.

Whatever. The point is my lawn looks beautiful and all those ugly dandelions are gone. Maybe tomorrow we'll have a picnic out on it.
I'm very tired. The older Violet gets, it seems, the less energy I have. This is like impending doom to me because she's only just shy of a year. What am I going to do when she hits the 2-5 zone. I don't know, but I do know thinking about it NOW makes me want to cry a little.
Don't get me wrong. She's my sunshine. She keeps me going. She makes me feel as though I have a purpose. She makes me happy and challenges me. She's helping me understand patience and never under appreciating the calm moments I find during the day. But it's busy. And exhausting.
I think the one thing becoming and being a mother has taught me most, is I have, for my whole life, never given my own mom enough credit. Or at least the credit she deserves. I honestly can't see how she handled ( and still handles) 6 of us. And one of us has severe mental and physical disabilities. I can barely keep myself together with my one little dot.

The weather is warming up, and Violet turns into an impatient little baby sometimes when we're inside all day. I've taken to dropping the car off at work for Cristian and taking the walk home with Vi in her stroller. It's been great. It makes me feel great. She gets a great nap in. Everything is better when we take a walk during the day. And ESPECIALLY good if we stop at the park on the way home.  Her personality is blossoming out her ears and so far I'm liking most of what I see. She's a little dramatic when she has a tantrum. She doesn't really scream her lungs out or anything quite like that but she'll mope around all over the floor, whining and sighs. She's funny. Has the most beautiful coal black eyes, cute little gap teeth, sparkly eyes, and is such a tease sometimes. I honestly can't get enough of her. I don't know who I am without her sometimes. Once you become a mother, you will ALWAYS BE a mother. I think I'm still letting that thought sink in. And I don't know if I'll laugh or cry when it does ;)

Cristian is doing well. He's working so hard at his job and I love him for it. He tells me everyday he loves me, and I'm beautiful. I need to hear it. And I should probably express to him more often how grateful I am for him in my life. And Violets. I miss him when he's at work all day. He's my best friend. I wish we had more time to have fun. I mean, we have fun... but I guess I just mean MORE fun. By the end of the day we don't even have enough energy to play a game of UNO. How sad is that?


Hhh.... almost 1. Where did this year go.