Dreams

The last couple of weeks I have tried to stop nursing . It's not really because I want to. I love breastfeeding. I love the bond it's created between myself and Violet. I love knowing at the end of a hard day, we will have a peaceful moment before she fades off to sleep. But I'm simply not losing the baby weight like I should. There is a small percentage of women who never start to lose their baby weight until they stop nursing. It feels like a selfish reason, but I'm not happy or comfortable will how I feel or look right now.
It's been hard on both of us. The first couple of times Violet would find her bobby pillow and follow me around like a wimpering puppy. It would just about break my heart so I'd give in. Seeing her like that made me feel depressed and weepy myself. I think we're almost there though. It's been 4 days since the last time I nursed her. I don't feel like myself, and I know it's the hormones. All the transitions have been so exhausting and stressful. It has all been worth it though. Violet makes me feel more needed then anything else in this world. She saved my life. She is my life. And I'm so blessed and happy she's mine all mine :D

Today she never took a nap. She woke up at 930am, and went until about 8pm tonight. This means I should probably head to bed because she'll be ready to go bright and early in the morning. But I need to express in words my feelings for Cristian. My best friend. My everything.

I love him more and more each day.
We've had hard times. VERY hard times. Times I never believed we would ever work through. When I married him I knew we would have struggles, I didn't know what they would be though. I knew things wouldn't be perfect, but I didn't know how imperfect things would feel and be sometimes. We've worked through and overcome every thing that has come up. And I believe with every resolution we become stronger and stronger.
Right now he's in a deep sleep, breathing basically in my ear. I love this man.
I've never met someone so determined and so hard working. He's so intelligent and funny. He has such an interesting mind, and can achieve ANYTHING he sets his mind to. His memory blows mine out of the water, and he loves Violet in the exact way I hoped he would.
Violet absolutely adores him. She screams and runs to him arms open and kissy lips a ready when he walks through the door and today he sent me a text that nearly made me cry. It was simple.

"Honey, I love you. I'm so glad I married you".
Babe, I feel the same way.