Motherhood/ A Poem

Sometimes it's hard this mothering gig.
To pry your eyes open after a long night of first vomits, of day before temper tantrums, and wails so loud and big.
I think about my baby girl, whose now asleep asunder,
wonder.
Will I be able to keep up with her much longer.

The ups and the downs, the good and the bads,
The mornings she wakes up and cries mommy and dad.
It's hard sometimes this mothering gig.
But then.
She says she wants "baffles" for breakfast and my heart is recharged again.
As her arms wrap around me in a hug, and she plants a kiss on my cheek,
 I feel as though I can get through another day as long as my personal angels ascend.
And it's okay.
Because through the ups and the downs, the goods and the bads,
there has never been another big little heart that has made me so glad.

Without Cristian's support, I don't know where I'd be.
He's truly helped me become a much better version of me.
Because of his efforts I can focus completely.
On becoming the best mother I can be more fully.
He works so hard, I am blessed to be able to stay at home,
With her.
Because it's important to both of us that she learns to explore and roam
Create, and sing, and built blanket domes.

These last two years have been a trial that's for sure, but her smiles, her need and love for me.
Have the ability to core,
out little spaces for memories, giggles, and oh so much more.
I can't stand it.
How much I love my perfect mini me, my only hope is that she can see.
That I'm trying my best, to be the best that I can.
For her.
Because she deserves that and needs that from me.

I realize now how much for granted I took.
How much my own mother.
Sacrificed for me
I only have one child now but she has two times three.
I applaud and admire her, she's the best that there is.
The one think I cherish most is that she taught me I am His.

And through my own ups and my own downs, I've always had some kind of center, because of that knowledge she planted in me years earlier.
With each passing day as I try to figure out how to be a mother, it's a wonderful thing to know that I have an older Brother.
Whose helping me.
Figure this out.
Even though at times I've been full of anxiety and doubt.

My mother is the best, I know this for me.
 I hope I can be as good a mother to Violet as she's been to me.
 I hope I can teach her to know right from wrong, to be a kind person, a gentle soul, and a giver.
 To chase after dreams, let opportunity enter and to never forget about the sick, lonely and beggars.
I hope to give her a center, the knowledge that she's not alone.
That in this big world, there's always someone and somewhere to call Home.

I have so much to learn.
With this mothering gig.
But I am so grateful for the blessing of having my heart filled this big.
There's nothing quite like it, I wouldn't give it up for anything
I hope everyone knows that THIER mothers, mostly definitely think the same thing.
So show love to your mothers, and those with kids, to your kids.
Because one of the greatest things ( to me) in the world,
Is this mothering gig.