Today Violet and I headed out to my parents house after taking Cristian back to work, with the intention of walking the dogs up the canyon. Upon arrival we found out all the dogs were getting their haircuts. We decided to head up the canyon anyways, but as we were passing the cemetery Violet decided she wanted to go there instead. We always pass one on our way out to her grandparents, and she's been asking to go for awhile but we've never had the time. We are either hurrying to get to my job, or leaving my job when it's already late and past her bedtime by the time work is over.
So, we backtracked and turned into the cemetery, found a shady place to park and hopped out.
We walked hand in hand around the place with her commenting on all the flowers, toys, wreaths, pumpkins, and other trinkets that were left by loved ones.
She asked me why all of these things were left there (she found one small grave with 2 toys cars placed on top and was wanting to play with them). I explained to her the tombstones were markers for where people had died and been buried, and the decorations and personal items left were there as a way to remember those people.
I had the opportunity to explain to her about our spirits and she readily recognized the idea of an afterlife where we go to be with our Heavenly Father and Jesus after spending a life on earth. Most of the tombstones she was interested in also had engraved temples on them, the Logan one she easily recognizes as the temple "Grandma goes to all the time". She tells me almost daily that me, her, and Grandma will go to the temple one day, and mentions Cristian coming too.
I keep the thought of this happening in the deepest part of my heart, its my greatest desire and the day it happens I'm sure my heart will literally burst in happiness. I don't talk about the gospel much on here, and I guess most of it is because I feel very unqualified to do so. I'm far from perfect, so speaking or writing about things that are sacred to me isn't something I just do naturally-also the reason this blog entry wasn't posted of FB. I also fear the things I believe most and know are true will somehow be attacked-something I don't know if I could bear. So I keep it to myself, but as we were standing there talking about how much Heavenly Father loves us thoughts from a previous blessing came back to me.
The promise that if I do my part, to the best of my ability, that I will receive the deepest desires of my heart-to be sealed for time and all eternity to my own family.
I'm struggling right now.
Certain aspects of my health have been a worry for a while now, and I have difficulty with depression. It's difficult for me to make friends, and because I'm in a part member family it's hard for me to feel comfortable attending certain church related activities on my own. All of these things I signed up for, but you never really know what those things mean until you're IN the situation .That moment today though has given me renewed perspective and hope that who I am now is not who I will remain.
I can better myself, there always room for improvement.
I can do hard things.
I can make goals and accomplish them.
Nothing is impossible, and EVERYTHING is possible if I do my part.
All of this from a detour requested by my beautiful 3 year old daughter.
Thank you Violet.
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