Yes, we are in the middle of taking birthing classes. I wasn't sure whether or not we would go through with it, mostly because we heard such horrible things about it. It wasn't helpful, waste of money, blah blah blah but I'm glad we're taking it. I feel (already with just one class period done) a little more prepared for what will happen once I enter the hospital. And I believe much of the information is valuable for Cristian to know about since he's going to be my birthing coach.
It's all winding down so quickly. I can't believe how fast everything has happened and how close we are. My pregnancy has been a breeze and it has flown by quickly. It could be because in the middle of all of this I was planning our wedding, we were working out where to live and gunning for jobs for Cristian. May have sped up the process with all those things going on in the middle of this chaos. I feel ready for her to be here.
It's funny.
I say that to people and all of them say "Well, you say that now but after about a week you'll wish she was back in your womb". I've been told numerous times that the "real" work will begin once she's here and I'm expecting things to change a lot. I'm expecting exhaustion and frustration. I expect to feel inadequate, as a wife and mother, as I try and get into a routine of things and get used to her-and find ways to make Cristian a part of the process. But mostly I'm just expecting myself to feel accomplished for making it through my pregnancy (and delivering a live human child), and happy to have my little girl to start a life with. She's going to be beautiful.
My pregnancy has been haunted with everyone's horror stories about what happened with their process and what happened with their labor and delivery, and all the things they-for some reason- feel a need to warn me about. Endless people have told me myths and do's and don'ts so ridiculous it would blow anyone's mind. It's like people have felt a need to scare me about everything. I've had some negative experiences with people saying unkind and irrational things about my weight and the way I look-as if I haven't been insecure about it the whole time right? (I'm in the recommended weight gain for my body, and I knew she would be a bigger baby because of how Cristian and I both were). One lady at a furniture told me I looked like a whale (literally) and she couldn't believe how big I looked at 8 months (literally). I look at myself as being healthy and lucky. All the weight has been on my stomach. I have no back fat, butt fat, leg fat, face or arm fat and I'm happy with that. I've kept up with at least SOME kind of exercise on a daily basis ( whether that be actually getting out of bed and going to water aerobics, or going on a walk around town, or simply going up and down the stairs a few times) When I don't respond to these comments the next thing I hear is "But don't worry, I'm sure all of it will come off quickly"-like they secretly think I'm going to have a hard time with that. Or like because THEY never lost theirs, I'm not going to lose mine. I hate being lumped in a crowd of a certain type of people. And I don't appreciate the undermining and false sincerity about things.
Kinda sick of the negative vibes-I wonder if anyone else experienced this- so mostly I'm trying to ignore all of it and keep the attitude I have about it. I've made some flexible plans with how to work out certain things with the changes coming up in my family's life.
Sure, things will be hard. VERY hard sometimes.
But I guess I know it will be worth it and that's what I'm trying to focus on.
And I want to be a happy, excited, and healthy mother and wife for my family.
So that's my goal.
Time for class!
PS- just realized that I never posted about the "hallucinations". Next time.
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